Ellie and Jess - July 2017

Ellie + Jess - Born To Be Together

I started talking to Jess in October 2016. She was having a few personal issues and needed a friend to talk to. I helped her where I could even encouraged her to go to the doctors as I thought she was suffering from depression. This was confirmed in January 2017 and she was given medication which certainly helped.

As time went on we both realised that our feelings for one another were changing, we were falling in love. Neither of us expected this to happen but the more we talked and got to know one another it was obvious to both of us that we could not keep our feelings for one another hidden.

We began having a relationship and I can safely say that we fell very deeply in love with each other. Jess was the happiest she had ever been and her confidence just grew day by day. For me I had never felt like this about anyone, Jess made me feel so alive.

As you can imagine the loss of Jess has left me devastated. I have lost my soulmate. There will never be anyone else for me, I am Jess's partner in life and death. I hope that creating this website can help others be pointed in the right direction to get the necessary help and support that is available.

 

SOME WORDS TO END 2018

Well here we are the end of another year. Life goes on but not always as we had probably been hoping for. Have just had my second Christmas without Jess and it's still not getting any easier, there is always that feeling at the back of my mind that she should still be here.

 

We never actually got to spend a Christmas together but I know if we had of done it would have been great fun. As some of you are aware Jess adored brussel sprouts, her nickname at work was Sprout, so I know she would have been in her element trying to persuade me that sprouts are wonderful. I have always hated them ever since I was a child and that has not changed. I will eat the very small ones but the big ones not a chance!!!! I spent Christmas with Mary who has been my rock all the way through this difficult time and as always her Christmas dinner was beautiful. I know I have not been easy to live with what with the crying, the mood swings, the anger but one way or another I have made it to the end of 2018. Thank you Mary for your continued friendship and support.

 

I feel very lucky to have made some wonderful friends this year. I can safely say that two people in particular have made life a lot easier for me. Carolyn and Naomi my friends from Halifax, have made me laugh, cry, walk the other way, have fun again, but most of all they have supported me with true friendship. I will never be able to thank them enough for this and I admit I am looking forward to 2019 and seeing what adventures we get upto next.

 

Then there are those people who have been on this journey with me since the beginning and you all know who you are. You have listened to me, made me laugh, given me advice and generally supported me without any question. I extend a heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you. So what is 2019 going to hold????

 

I will also be doing what I can to raise the awareness of Sepsis. I have some ideas for fundraising which I am going to look into and also do what I can to get further donations to the JustGiving page which I have set up. If you should wish to make a donation the webpage is https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/elayna-reeves.

 

I have been waiting for over 6 months now for some information and to say the least I am feeling pretty fed up but I will not be beaten and hopefully this will eventually appear. This is something that I need to help with the next step forward. I will be contacting the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman to make a complaint about the hospital where Jess was treated. There are far too many unanswered questions and I don't want others to have to go through what I have over the previous months. Something doesn't add up and the time has come for this to be looked into by the correct authorities. So it just remains for me to wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year. Thank you for taking the time to read this and love to you all. Ellie xxxxxxxxxxx

 

I cannot end this without saying I miss Jess everyday and she is never far from my thoughts. I will not give up my fight to get the justice she so deserves until I have exhausted all lines of enquiry. I know she is watching over me and wants me to be happy and get life back together which I am trying to do slowly. I will always love Jess she was just one very special woman xxxxxxxxxx

We will be together again my darling Jess, my love will never change you are always in my heart xxxxxxxxx

17/07/18 Today would have been mine and Jess's first anniversary. As you can imagine it has been a difficult day which started with me crying alot of tears. I visited the Garden of Remembrance at the local churchyard and placed some flowers. It would have not been right not to have some at home as well, Jess loved me buying her flowers so these bright colours seemed just right to honour her memory

17/07/18 Having been to the Garden of Remembrance then had a trip to Broadstairs for a walk on the seafront with Jess's favourite ice cream, mint choc chip. I had to admit this was absolutely gorgeous

Jess and myself may not have been together very long but we did give each other rings to show our commitment to each other

Jess was so happy to wear both of her rings

It would have been Jess's 30th Birthday on 6th June 2018. These beautiful roses are to honour her memory, she maybe gone but I will never forget her.

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY 7TH MAY 2018

07/05/18 Ellie at the Garden of Remembrance

Has been a really hard few days. So as the weather was so lovely this morning went to the Garden of Remembrance at the local church and just spent some time enjoying the view and thinking about Jess. My friend Mary came along she is so supportive and decided a photo of me in my peaceful place would be good. I will always have Jess in my heart and my love will never change. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her and how happy we were together. Jess was my soulmate and always will be.

VALENTINE'S DAY 2018

I miss you my darling Jess xxxx

Happy Valentine's Day to my beautiful Jess. We should have been celebrating our first Valentine's together but fate had other ideas. Nothing has changed though I love her just as much as I always have. Jess you may have been taken from me but I will never forget you and my heart will always be yours. I love you now, always and forever xxxxxx

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

This has been the hardest Christmas I have ever had. The loss of my beautiful Jess has left me feeling heartbroken and completely lost. I decided to go back and spend Christmas in the place where we were truly so happy together. My friends Mary and Sue have been with me and they have been truly brilliant and very supportive.

I also had the chance to catch up with Jess's friend from work Hilary. It was so nice to be able to talk to her about Jess and some of the things she loved about her job at Tesco in Langport. I think Hilary would agree the dressing up was one of Jess's real favourite things to do on days that were themed at work. Out of all the tragedy it has been nice because Hilary and myself have become friends.

Now as 2018 begins I am more determined that ever to get the justice that my Jess deserves. I will be continuing to follow up my complaint with the hospital that treated her. Also I will be doing whatever I can to help raise the awareness of Sepsis and help GWAAC. I would like to raise as much money as I can for these charities via the Justgiving pages I have set up.

Life will never be the same for me as I feel like a huge part of me is missing but the love I have for Jess will never change. She was my soulmate and I will always be deeply in love with her.

So I wish everyone a Happy and Properous New Year. Most importantly make the most of everyday you have with your loved ones.

LOVE IS LOVE

A SPECIAL KIND OF LOVE

THANK YOU JESS XXXX